Thursday, June 24, 2010

水的顏色


Ruth Mcbride Jordan 是一位不平凡的母親。她出生於1921, 波蘭的猶太人。Ruth 結婚兩次, 生育12個子女。 第一任夫婿是一個黑人傳教士;生病逝世後, 再一次結婚, 夫婿也是一個黑人。
Ruth不久前過世。她的訃文被紐約時報刊登在訃文版的首頁。這是該報首次把一個籍籍無名的人放在頭條。
Ruth 不是名人, 卻有非凡的作為。一生經歷種族岐視, 娘家唾棄。丈夫早逝, 單手獨立扶養12子女, 個個都大學畢業, 成就卓越。兒子James Mcbride 數年前著書: The Color Of Water: A Black Man’s Tribute To His White Mother, 記錄母親堅苦卓絕的一生, 以及母親如何帶領子女安然渡過人世的明鎗暗箭。
當James 問母親, 她是不是白人,
Ruth 回答: I am not white, I am just light skinned.
James 又問, 我是黑人還是白人?
Ruth 回答: You are neither white nor back, you are a human being.
James又問, 那麼上帝是什麼膚色的?
Ruth回答: God is the color of water.
面對社會的責難攻詰, Ruth 在天平的另一端, 放上自己的詮釋, 來保護子女。她從不對他人的觀感稱重; 她只是相對的, 增加些什麼, 來維持天平的平衡。
Ruth 一生只做一件簡單的事: 平衡; 反觀其它的人, 我們都是在稱重。無論褒或貶, 都拿來量一量。或者是眼光, 或者是話語, 都在我們心頭加重。當Ruth 帶著子女上街時, 後面跟著5,6個大大小小膚色不一的小孩。James說, 媽媽只專心看顧環繞的子女, 對於人們投以驚世駭俗的眼光, 渾然不覺。Ruth 是天平, 求取平衡,也常在平衡中。 我們是秤子, 不斷的稱重, 重上加重, 直到秤子一頭過重, 失去平衡。
Ruth 的一生有如高空走索; 她用內在的自己來平衡外來的不友善。她是自信的, 也是豁達的, 她做到了心平氣和。
風起時, 你怎麼平衡你的身体, 在風中繼續前行?

P.S.謝謝麗娜介紹我們認識此書以及書的主人翁—Ruth。

Friday, August 21, 2009

Seven Sins


Lately, I spent a casual Sunday afternoon browsing books in Barnes and Nobles. I came across this book I liked, checked out even though I was aware it would be cheaper from Amazon.

The book is If Ignorance is Bliss, Why aren’t there more Happy People? It is a book of quotes from many people including famous ones.

Of course, I checked Amazon’s price later, which is 30% lower. I had thought about returning it for a moment, but then decided to keep it for the reason I feel I should appreciate the pleasant environment that Barnes and Noble has provided and an explorative bliss in the world of books in any given Sunday.

Late that night, I flipped through the book and this quote from Gandhi (yes, the Gandhi) caught my eyes. On Sins, he said, “The seven deadly sins are: Wealth without work. Pleasure without conscience. Knowledge without character. Business without morality. Science without humanity. Worship without sacrifice. Politics without principle.

I couldn’t agree more. Gandhi depicted an ideal world I would very much like to live in. So much so, I believe, I actually am living it: the willingness to honor a sale and a perception of a bookish delight are acts of “pleasure with conscience.”

What is pleasure without conscience? Even, what is life without conscience? Haven’t you ever eaten without tasting, heard without listening? After the age of six, human beings learn all the life skills we need to survive, 90% of our doings are put on automatic modes and are not thought about again. What happens on the way you come to the office from your home every morning? They are the same routes but bear different contents everyday. What happens to your long time life partner? They are the same peoples yet not exactly the same each day. Life becomes boring and dull not because it lacks new contents, but because we lose awareness of its details.

Things are done without thinking; life has passed without living. We take things for granted until someday, they cease to be. We lament the things we lose and long for things we do not own. Past and future are what we look at, but the present is simply neglected.

Down to the cellular levels in the human body, chains of protein activities await for the queue from IMP on the cell membrane. Cell collects material from its surroundings and uses it to multiply itself; this is life. Without awareness, no information is processed, and then, follows the ending of life. Gandhi is right, pleasure without conscience is not only a sin, it is ultimate annihilation.

To be aware, or, to know, is different from having knowledge. We rely on knowledge to survive; knowledge builds up an efficient system called automatic mechanism. We move fast with a price: lose consciousness. To reverse this unconscious life style, one has to go beyond knowledge. (Yes, in general, people who are better educated are healthier; but, the more education, the more corners of unconscious reactions there are.)

Secondly, developing an attitude of appreciation is essential. Before a meal, thank God and the person who harvest and prepare. Appreciation increases an awareness of food, so, one tastes and digests better. Appreciation also generates a state of satisfaction in the brain which provides a positive energy wave. Cells grow better with enhanced awareness; this is, indeed, one ”pleasure with conscious”.

Finally, start working on your breathing. Breathing is the fundamental form of life, it also constitute the most parts of our automatic mechanisms (when was the last time you are conscious of your own breathing?) The reversal of an unconscious life style means more awareness and thus, more information is processed. Suddenly, the world speaks to you in a clarity that never happens before. You would then understand: to know is ecstasy.